Salade de Fruits Café

Saturday, December 20th, 2008

Salade de Fruits Café

1551 West 7th Avenue
Vancouver, British Columbia
tel. 604.714.5987

http://www.saladedefruits.com

Brunch served Saturdays from 10am to 2:30 p.m.

After several years of being undeservedly ridiculed and ostracized, The French finally seem to be regaining the respect that they’re due. The Iraq war turned out to be just as much of a clusterfuck as their leaders predicted while Michael Moore’s “Sicko” illuminated not only their fine medical system but also their admirable penchant for working as little as humanly possible. Hell, even their new president has contributed to this most recent chapter of the French Renaissance by extending the olive branch to the States and ditching his aging, wrinkly wife for an Italian nude model/pop-star/hottie. Formidable!!

As Freedom Toast disappears from menus and societies' collective consciousness, we at the Armada decided to celebrate by taking our own municipal trans-Atlantc flight down ot the Francophone Cultural Centre on 7th Ave. It is here amongst the free clinics and overpasses where you'll find Salade de Fruits, one of the city's hidden breakfast gems. Promoting authentic French food prepared and served by real-life French people, this small café is often overlooked due to its dismal location and exceedingly nondescript exterior. These trifles should not dissuade the avid brunch gourmet, however, as Salade de Fruits offers one of the most delectably affodable petite déjeuners in town.

The décor, as one would expect, is a hodgepodge of all things French. You like cheap souvenirs? Well, so does whoever owns this restaurant! The space ostensibly extends into the foyer of the Cultural Centre, making for a bit of an odd and occasionally drafty setup. During the summer, I’d recommend getting there early and snagging one of the South-facing patio seats. While exposure to direct sunlight rarely enhances breakfast dishes, it’s a safe bet that the average pasty Canadian face could benefit from a little UV.

As far as services goes, the wait staff is composed entirely of francophones and the quality of their attention varies tremendously depending on what language you speak. I’ll give you one guess as to which mother tongue will result in the more amiable server but hey, how authentic would a French dining experience be without the haughty attitude? Thankfully, our waitresses plunging décolletage adequately compensated for her shortcomings in the congeniality department.

My selection today, amongst the four Ouefs Benny aux choix, was the saumon fumé (smoked salmon). Now, most breakfast restaurants in Vancouver offer some variant of this “West Coast” classic benedict and S.de F. is no exception. The most notable distinguishing characteristics are their unique hollandaise and the replacement of the traditional (and in this case, blasphemous) English muffin base with a more delicate biscuit. At $7.99, you’d be hard pressed to find a benedict throughout the city offering more flavour for money.

Duckboy also anted up for a benny, his choice being the more traditional version comprising little more than ham and hollandaise. Although he lamented a first-bite vinegar tinge, he lauded the overall execution of this classic, going so far as to highlight the fluffiness of his egg whites. Oh, Duckboy. Whilst “my compliments to the fluffer” would serve as high praise in certain industries, those at the table were unanimous in our discouragement of his passing along this particular sentiment to the staff.

All of Salade de Fruits’ Bennies (and omelettes) come with their amazing version of seasoned home fries and a distinctive selection of accompanying breakfast meat. Ducky extolled the virtues of his spectacularly crispy bacon while the rest of the jury is still deliberating whether or not the lamb sausage was guilty of being too damn smoky.

Both visiting from their adopted countries, Toad and Lang-Dang opted for $7.99 omelettes of the ham/cheese/mushroom variety. Lang declared his meal to be excellent, specifically citing the smell and taste of the skillet’s pan-searing that had been infused into the eggs. Toad was complimentary overall but, being the international gastronome that he is, felt the brie could have used more of a nose. I tell you, this guy moves to Europe and all of a sudden he’s Jamie frickin’ Oliver. Ignoring this minor quibble, value for money was at the top of his list of many accolades.

Of course, for Salade de Fruits to offer food of this quality for this price, there must be a catch. Upon closer inspection, there are indeed several catches, all of which can be uncaught if one is willing to succumb to the very particular and very, very lazy nature of the French.

Apart from the afore-mentioned laissez-faire service, said catches are as follows; 1) Cash is the only acceptable method of payment and any attempts to remit via other means will be met with snide dismissal. 2) Coffee refills fall on the wrong side of free. This is a real pet peeve of mine as I feel it’s the one area where thrifty patrons such as myself can really exploit small business owners. 3) Brunch is served from 10:00am to 2:30pm ONLY on Saturdays. Evidently French people cannot be bothered to haul their Gallic asses out of bed before 10 am on any other day of the week. This leaves brunch-hungry diners with a very small window of opportunity.

Stereotypical nuances aside, I really enjoyed the breakfast offered up at Salade de Fruits and the rest of the Armada was in agreement. Reasonably priced French food of this calibre should the expectation rather than the example par excellence. Now, with countless breakfasting shores to plunder, I must attempt to conclude this review without resorting to a hackneyed “Bon Appétit.” Oh, goddamn it.

Dirty Johnny